Thursday, September 14, 2006

Our two Whippets, Casper & Phoebe (joined at the hip!)

Molly (our Golder Retreiver) Can never get that dog out of the water!

Judy (on the right) with our friends from Ireland


Thursday, August 24, 2006

We need your help

If you have been in, or have left a cult or aberrant bible based group, or if you are a concerned family member of someone who is trapped, please write in to this blog. You may even feel guilty at even reading this blog, feeling that you are betraying the group, or church. You may even feel that you are betraying God Himself.

This is NOT true. It is a fear tactic that the leaders (or those in the upper echelon) of such groups are using, (sometimes sincerely) to keep you under the auspices of the group/church/organisation. My wife and I have been in many such groups/churches and we know exactly what you are going through.

We can also put you in touch with others who can help you.

If you would rather write to us privately, please note our email address further down on the blog, under (View my complete profile). We only want to help you, we will not judge you, or condemn in any way.

Note to other Christians:

Please feel free to write in and tell us of any such experiences you have had in the past, we will be grateful to hear from anyone who has a heart for those who sit in abject misery after such affiliations. Or if you know somebody who may want to get in touch with us? Even if you just want to encourage, we would appreciate it :)





If you click onto, "View my complete profile, you will see a link to Cameron's story.
Judy's Story is still to be written, hopefully, soon.

Since I first came to know Christ in 1978, I was always searching. I wanted to follow Him, but I got involved with several churches and groups that became quite destructive. There were good times too, but each group became narrower and more insular until, after tenty eight years, I was reduced to a child like slave. To break away was and is horrific because these things go right to the very core of a man's whole being. It is my hope that my own experiences can help others who are in a similar situation.

To find out more, just click below on the quick link

Quick link is:

If you would prefer to contact us privately, our email address is under "View My Complete Profile Link" Everything will be held in complete confidence.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

A nice sunset

Under construction

We are intending to publish some of our experiences from the past twenty eight years. Be patient, we're working on it :) Our stories will be linked to a website that we intend to publish as soon as we are able.

Judy's Story

Coming soon also

Our intent

Those for whom this blog is intended, are living under fear, guilt and the control of powerful and persuasive men and women who tell them that to leave or even disagree is to invoke the wrath of God upon themselves, and their families. Some feel desperately lonely, they are alienated from their families, former friends or associates and in many cases have left their jobs and given huge amounts of money, time and even their own thought processes and discernment over to the group. They have been coerced, albeit sincerely and sometimes unwittingly to submit to the leadership of such groups. Those men and women are many times, themselves sincerely deluded, and in their own delusion have become destructive, and even in some cases, dangerous!

These groups are judgemental and either separate themselves entirely from any other affiliations or at best, view other Christians as being either “not saved” or “lukewarm” or have been “kept and prepared by God until they can be reached and reigned in under the auspices of the group” This makes for isolation from society and a very insular lifestyle for the members and leadership both.

They range from mainstream cults and religions to small groups of people who will only meet in the home on a very casual basis. They may or may not use a building to meet and some even meet on the Internet in chat rooms or by email lists.

Many such groups/churches are not harmful at all, but this blog is intended for the ones that can render a person into a childlike state where he/she will obey the group in the most mundane of things, left hardly able to even think for themselves. These types of groups/churches/organizations become all encompassing, to the exclusion of everything else!

Those destructive and dangerous trends have in past times ended in great tragedy, such as in the cases of Waco, Texas and Jonestown Guyana, the leaders of which were very sincere men who began as more mainstream pastors and teachers themselves, only to veer off track, leading the “faithful” with them into a cataclysmic end. Sadly they placed the name of a loving God on their own folly. It is true that Waco and Jonestown are extreme cases but other such groups are no less spiritually, emotionally and mentally destructive!

Many have escaped their grip, becoming mentally ill, have lost their faith and have believed they are worthy of hell and that God is even out to destroy, not only their remaining lives in this physical life, but that He is even out to kill them or cause them to die some horrible death or one of their loved ones, in order to punish them for their own perceived apostasy. This is a fear tactic used by such destructive groups against anyone who would dare to break contact with the group or in some cases, even question them.

Leaving or even thinking about leaving one of these groups or controlling cults can be horrific! Each of these groups or cults (especially the leadership and those in the upper echelon) believes that they have a special word/mission/revelation from God Himself. They believe they are the only ones who are approved by God. They rule with indoctrination, heavy emphasis on submission to “God” in the leadership and are usually very charismatic, intelligent and well informed individuals. They may at times seem very kind and helpful, understanding and humble. They may at times seem completely normal and nice people.

However, these things only extend to those who are “in obedience” and fully submitting their thoughts, beliefs, and in many cases, even their money to the group/leader, and/or others who are in the group or church/ cult.

In other words, that brand of love that they portray as God’s unconditional love is in fact very conditional indeed! If any individual in the group/church/cult begins to disagree with the group, especially the leader’s authority, then they are severely disciplined. Anger and reproach surfaces from the once kind and wonderful members, the fear of God’s wrath and loss of salvation, shunning of the questioning member, disfellowshipping at times to be “handed over to the Devil for punishment” or general disdain and lack of trust. This of course is until the errant member repents and comes back into alignment with the group, concerning the particular offence.

Leaving is quite another matter indeed, then the leaver feels that he/she is under God’s judgement and finds him/herself totally alone and feeling that nobody understands their situation. They will, no doubt, distrust the medical profession, counsellors, other Christians and others in their communities who desire to help them.
They have been so totally indoctrinated by the group/church/cult that they will find it hard to trust anyone, least of all, themselves. Many times, they will be living in abject fear, confusion and utter loneliness, many have committed suicide

It is like their whole thought processing system has been reliant on total submission to the men and women and they have lived, breathed and eaten these things for years. Some have even been born into them, to parents who may even still be part of the group, perhaps who have even shunned their own children, or visa versa. The list of pain, broken relationships and tragedy goes on, ad-infinitum.

The psychological, emotional and physical hardship that is often encountered upon leaving one of these groups is horrendous!

To list only a few:

Post Traumatic Shock Syndrome,
Loss of Motivation
Flashing thoughts of impending doom
Intense fear of God’s impending judgement
Fear of retribution from the group
Legal matters in some cases
Loss of income, in some cases, homelessness
Racing brain
Memory lapses
The forming of old habits such as smoking, drinking, overeating or loss of appetite
Feeling disoriented
Flashing thoughts from group indoctrination
Lack of concentration
Distrust of others
Feeling like a social misfit
Dreading to see another group member

The list goes on and on.

These poor souls have been conditioned and brainwashed to see everything in a certain dogmatic way, their thoughts are the same as the group. They may have broken ties physically, but oh, what about all the thoughts, the clichés, the language of the group, the mental anguish?

The judgemental attitudes and lack of trust in anyone but the group and its ideals and dogma, yet no longer wanting to be involved, yet in a bizarre sort of way, missing the false security of their former environment.
The pain of all of this has to be experienced to really understand what one of these poor souls goes through upon leaving! Some even return, feeling that if they don’t, they may die and go to Hell!

The tragic stories of suicide, separation from family members, friends and society as a whole are endless and heart wrenching! After being involved in such things myself, I have a heartfelt desire now, that my own experiences and that of my wife could be used by a loving, merciful and gracious God. To somehow help those poor sincere people by way of identification, to find their own lives again and to know for themselves, who God truly is.

Even if God was not pursued, that in the very least, that in my small way, we could offer some suggestions of how to find help from caring people, that those unfortunate victims could once again lead a productive life in today’s society.

I have also asked my dear wife to write a blog of her own experiences for the sake of other husbands and wives who have lived for years and years in isolation, abject loneliness, fear and terror of even their own indoctrinated spouse. They have feared that the spouse would in some way seek to discipline them for even sharing any doubts about what they were involved with, or perhaps even leave them.

Are you in such a group, religious or not? Is it causing you great distress, fear and anxiety? Do you have doubts about inconsistencies in the other members or leaders, who themselves are sincerely deluded? Are you afraid of God’s wrath and judgement if you have what is deemed to be a wrong thought or question about the group? Would you like to leave but you are deathly afraid to do so? Do you wonder if there is life outside the group?

Then, dear reader, this blog is for you.


First of all I would like to say that this blog is not an attack on the Church of Jesus Christ but to speak expressly to those who suffer from elitist and separatist cults and aberrant groups.
Those who are searching for friendship, a sense of belonging and for in many cases, a greater revelation of the living God, only to find themselves in a destructive group or organisation.
It is also an appeal to the leaders of such groups, some of who are indeed Christians, for oneness in Christ. Division in the body of Christ is never of God, but sown by the enemy who is the very, accuser of the brethren.

It is not the purpose of this blog to give a treatise on the errant doctrines of cults and aberrant bible based groups throughout our dark age. I’m no expert in these matters. Some books and testimonies helped my wife and I to recover from twenty eight years of such affiliations.

These groups are in many ways extreme in their views of God, the Bible, the world and other Christians in mainstream churches. Some are health cults and oriental philosophies that can seem helpful to many, but can also ensnare sincere people.

It is my greatest desire that our own personal testimony of these groups/churches, will help the thousands, perhaps millions of sincere seeking people who now find themselves in that very position within those groups and cults.
We have changed names and places of our former affiliations. It is not our intent to attack anyone, nor hurt them in any way, we have found that we have been able to forgive them, and still love them. Rather, it is an appeal to all in such groups, for oneness in Christ.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

An invitation

We would appreciate your help, also comments on the blog. If you need to get in touch, if you are hurting and in pain, we want to help in any way we can. Abusive comments are not helpful, therefore, please don't send any. This blog is to help those who have been spiritually abused. They need not be hurt any further.

Thanks :)

Saturday, August 12, 2006


This is the compelling and true story of a man and woman who spent between them, a combination of twenty eight years searching to find God’s people. This led them through mainstream churches, sects, home churches, and internet churches, periods of total isolation and despair, disillusionment and loneliness.

At times, they even questioned the existence of God, the validity of the Bible and that God even still had a people on the earth today! It is a story of extremes, passion, depression, disappointment and finally a new beginning with a loving Saviour.

This blog was written for the sake of the oneness that Christ spoke of and desires for all who are His, even today. It is also for those who have been in cults, religious or not because many of the characteristics of being in these groups/churches and especially of leaving one, is very similar.

It is not a scathing or malicious attack on those who may believe that they alone are God’s chosen vessel to the exclusion of all others. Indeed, to those who truly believe they have a special revelation from God, it is actually an appeal, not for moderation or ecumenism, or any other man made venture of the tolerance that exists today. Rather it is a call for the unity of all believers in the living Christ to a true oneness that can only be wrought by the Holy Spirit on earth, as it is in heaven.

If in any small way, this blog can unite two brothers or sisters in Christ or bring anyone closer to that unity that our Lord desires, then our experiences over the years of our previously troubled walk, and indeed this blog itself, would be well worth it all!

At the very least, perhaps it may help others to re-integrate with society and lead a productive life.